Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
