Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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