if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
