Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
