So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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