All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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