he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
