spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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