Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
