My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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