Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Floor bacon is actually really good
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
