If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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