I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
