He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Help. Why am I so naked?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
