I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
