dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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