Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
