from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You need Xanax blowdarts
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
