Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
