I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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