If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
