Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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