You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
