just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
