he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He did a backflip because drugs
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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