wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
