elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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