Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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