The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
