This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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