nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
