i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
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I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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