I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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