dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
