is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize