So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
