You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
