Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dicks are not precious.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize