Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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