yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize