I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
