I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
