Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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