It was confusing and full of hummus
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
