We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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