Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
