I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Sorry about my life...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
