Im at strip club and am horny
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Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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