Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
