Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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