i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
