We're facebook friends in real life
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
