around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She's the barista slut.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
