I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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