but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
