dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
