How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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