So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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