i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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