So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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