When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
